zeppelicaesars:

alexkisu:

do you ever just stare at yourself in the mirror in your underwear and get sad

sad that no ones around to see me hell yea

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

factsofcanada:

If a Canadian gives you a bottle of maple syrup it signifies them accepting you as a member of their pack

unclefather:

i love that kids don’t understand the concept of money. i heard a kid at walmart today grab a bag of beef jerky and say “i’m just going to have this” and when his mom said “you can’t just take that” he said “who is going to stop me” 

intertnet:

is there a scholarship for trying

drxcos:

i hate when people r like “do you like them? oooh you’re blushing you do!!!” like, no you cold corndog im fucking blushing bc you’re embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable

damianmcgintleman:

aledono:

damianmcgintleman:

attractive animated characters are so weird bc it’s like “you’re just a bunch of lines but i’d fuck you”

THEY ARE NOT A BUNCH OF LINES!

THEY ARE ALIVE!

THEY ARE REAL!

I’M GOING TO HAVE THEIR BABIES!

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